I am so discouraged at this point because I love church and to praise worship and hear my pastor preach and it just blows my mind as to why things with my health are getting in the way of me doing what I know God wants me to do.
I am writing all this to ask the question "WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Has anyone out there gone through or going through what I am going through?
When I received the Holy Ghost some thirty years ago, one year later I did start to have catastrophic health problems. I am going to give you the benefit of what my suffering has caused.
Daniel in the book of Daniel sough the LORD, only to fall ill for seven days after the visions and angelic visitation.
The Apostle Paul said he must bring up the suffering of Jesus Christ in his generation for the salvation of souls. Zion travails, he said to bring souls in the kingdom. If a woman would travail with child daily, how long do you think her health would last?
At the same time The Apostle said, lest I be exalted above measure for the many revelations that are given to me, I was given a thorn in the flesh.
After so many years of suffering in my body, out of body experiences, and intense pain and weakness, the LORD said to me, I don't want you to move that fast. Sometimes our suffering brings us into a certain relationship with the LORD, in order to offer him purer and deeper service to him personally and to the kingdom of God.
The Apostles when beaten rejoiced that they were worthy to suffer for the LORD and his kingdom. Of course, Jesus took the greatest suffering of all for our sins.
Because you are in a wheel chair does not mean you cannot be used mightily of God. Our suffering purifies us in that our love is made more powerful in our weakness. We learn to pass up failures, fears, and bitterness in order to serve the LORD more keenly, and have a better relationship and understanding with Him.
I also must add, you must also rebuke satan lest he try to lay on you more than you can bear. Rebuke the spirit of depression, and tell the LORD that you will trust him in any circumstance. Through your praise in every situation, satan has to leave!
I hope that this helps you to become the overcomer that the LORD wants you to be. You seem to be having a crash course. We overcome our world, because he has overcome the world,